Day of the Dead...

...yes I have been resurected and convinced once again to continue writing.  I think that it is important for me to do this on a daily basis, it really does help to keep me grounded and many of you have offered wonderful advice and resources in the past and for that I am forever grateful.
Life has been busy as it usually is...you know, planning a wedding, work, moving, teenagers...blah blah blah.  I really don't have too much to say today and will work into this gently I suppose.

Flash Fiction 55

As time goes by someone is struggling with addiction and trying to find shelter for the night.  As time goes by someone is comfy and warm in their bed.  As time goes by another has overdosed on the street unnoticed or missed by anyone.  As time goes by I’ll be forever grateful for my sobriety.

Want to play?  Just write your own fiction, poetry, etc in 55 words and let the G-Man know.

Spirituality vs Religion

So this topic, as it often does, came up on a Facebook group that I belong to and I thought I would post it here to try and spark some dialogue.

I wrote in response to a few other posts:

"I love this topic! My question is how does one claim to be spiritual or religious when they judge and can't or won't accept another's belief. That isn't our place. Our job to to live, love, understand and accept. "It is better to understand... than to be understood" as says the St Francis prayer. The important thing I think is to believe in something...something that makes you feel good and peacefull and serene inside. That is spirituality in my eyes. Relgion is a set of rules (for lack of a better term), in which to practice your spiritual principles. Unfortunately, like all Religions, there are the fanatics that go to the extreme. For example, both Mother Teresa and Hitler followed the same Religion."

Promises

I am feeling extremely grateful today. Emotionally the last couple of weeks has been really tough.  I mean it wasn't uncommon for me to have a complete meltdown, sobbing uncontrollably on my bed or in public for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  Pre-menstrual?  Pre-menopausal?  Who the hell knows!  But my poor family had to endure it and boy were they troopers!!  I am feeling a little better today.  Yesterday was the  first in many that I didn't have a meltdown...not even one tear.  Perhaps part of it is that I was able to make a financial amends which took a HUGE weight off of my shoulders!  This got me thinking of the 12 Promises of AA and how I am still sooooooo fearful of not being able to pay my bills and put food on the table, etc, etc. However, in reading them again this morning I did realize that most of them have definitely come true in my life today.  I am much calmer than I used to be...still a worrier but getting better every day.

The 12 Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

(1) We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

(2) We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

(3) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

(4) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

(5) That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

(6) We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

(7) Self-seeking will slip away.

(8) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

(9) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

(10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

(11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

(12) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Flash Fiction 55

It is Pride this weekend in Vancouver and sadly it is yet another I will miss.  but this week's 55 goes out to all my lovely LGBT friends!

HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!

Her eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar face amongst the sea of strangers.  "Amy" she heard in the distance, "over here!"  Amy spotted her friend waving frantically and made her way to her.  "I'm so glad you made it, her friend said.  "I've missed you!"  She kissed her lips softly.  "Happy Pride beautiful girl."

Want to play?  Write your own, poem or short story and let the G-Man know.

Disregard Last Post...

...summer has left again.  Wow, I think it has been cold and raining more the last 2 months than the sun has shone for sure.  Oh well, not all is gray today...just the sky.

I had a second interview for another position today within the company that I work for and although my boss doesn't think I am ready for this position right now, he wants to put a development plan together for me so that when another opportunity does arise, and they always do, that I am ready to just slide into it.  Now, not exactly what I was hoping for but it is definitely positive nonetheless.

Keep on Smiling!!

Summer has arrived!

Finally we got some HOT sunny weather this weekend. It has been so wet and cool so far this summer I was starting to wonder if it would show it's glowing face at all.  We went camping this weekend for the first time this season...well second but the last time was in May so not technically summer.  We headed up towards Spences Bridge into the mountains there for some rock hunting and sage harvesting.  I think we came away with more than 2 buckets of agates, quartz and even a piece of jade, and I harvested a bag of sage to make sage sticks for smudging.  It was really nice to get out of town and away from reality a little while.  Funny though, as we entered the Fraser Valley again, almost instantly, I felt the stress or work and finances.  I really need to do something about that.  Oh well, there are things on the horizon that I hope come to fruition.  One of them being possibly a new position...I interviewed for it on Thursday so please please please send your positive energy my way.  I will keep you updated!

WHOA...

...where does the time go!!  Just a little update, Jaxon is doing really well.  He seems to be back to his old self again...happy, smiling, laughing, singing...it truly is wonderful to see.
As for me, I have been planning our wedding...yikes, there is sooo much to do.  Maybe eloping was a better idea.  Nahhhhh...who am I kidding.  I eloped my first marriage and well, it didn't turn out so good.
There is the cute website called Wedding Bells.ca that allows you to create your own wedding website...you can find ours here if you would like to sign our guest book. It also has great tools for planning, budgeting, etc., just in case any of you are planning a wedding as well, (for my American friends there is My Wedding).
Anyway, I will try to be more frequent on my entries...I MISS YOU GUYS!!

Flash Fiction 55

Friday snuck up on me again and I didn't want to miss another one without submitting something so I pulled it out of the archives.  I wrote this one in 2009...you would have thought I wrote it yesterday in light of current events.  Perhaps it was me writing this and putting it out to the universe that it came to fruition!  Well I would like to think so anyway.  Enjoy your weekend!!

 “Marry me,” he said out of the blue. She stared at him, stunned. “What?” she said, “Are you crazy?” “Tomorrow, let’s get married tomorrow,” he said excitedly. “You ARE crazy!” she exclaimed. Her heart was racing, she wanted to say yes more than anything but was afraid, but didn’t know why. “Yes,” she said nervously.

If you would like to play along, just write your own piece of fiction in 55 words and let the G-Man know.

I Hear Wedding Bells!

Yes that is correct, Jami and I have set the date for June 30, 2012!  I remember a couple of years ago when we first starting seeing each other Steve E said to me, "hmmm perhaps I will be playing violin at your wedding one day".  Now although you are thousands of miles away Steveroni, your beautiful music will be in my heart that day.  YAY! I am sooo excited and he is such a wonderful man.  Well of course he is, cause I deserve it dammit! 

I just LOVE this cake!!

A Very Blessed Litha!

Summer has officially arrived and the Sun God has blessed us with his presence today!

Woman To Woman

Who would have thought that I would ever go to a women's retreat.  Some of you might remember telling you about the lady that had the garage sale and gave me the money to attend this retreat for women affected by alcohol.  Well it was this past weekend and although I went kicking and screaming, internally of course, I actually kind of enjoyed myself...sorta.  You see I really am not a social person, I like to be at home and mostly stick to myself and my family.  I get very uncomfortable at times in a room full of people I don't know and it was very difficult for me to attend.  Thank goodness for the small handful of women that were there from my area.  It was a weekend of meetings, meditation, yoga, good food and friendship.  It was kinda cool to watch new relationships develop...yes watch.  I tend to stick to the background and watch everyone.  I have always been like that, especially when I was drinking.  I was never one to be the centre of the party or really even a part of it.  I was most comfortable sitting on the sidelines just watching.  But, I can tell you, it sure is lonely on the sidelines.  I can almost guarantee that I would have enjoyed myself much more if I had participated a little.  Oh well, perhaps I will give it another shot next year.

Serendipity

I just love how the Goddess puts people in my path and I intuitively know that we have much more in common than being female.  We recently hired a young women and right from the moment I met her I knew that she was just like me.  I don't know what it was or why and it doesn't really matter.  All that matters is that I was able to share with her that I am in recovery and it went from there.  It was just a casual conversation, many of my co-workers know that I am a member AA so I don't hide it.  Later, after no one else was around, I could see that she almost had tears in her eyes as she said "those programs saved my life".  My heart was filled with joy and she asked if we could go to a meeting together sometime as she hasn't been in a very long time.  I get goosebumps when I think about it.  How we were brought together.  I just love this poem

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

So even if we have been brought together for only a season, I know with out a doubt that it is for a greater reason than just a chance meeting.

Lunar Eclipse

Ahhhh...another full moon, isn't She beautiful!?  And this one with the added energy!  There will be a lunar eclipse tomorrow.  This is a rare one too.  This time the moon will pass directly through the shadow of the earth's shadow cone.  This hasn't happened in 11 years and won't happen again until 2018. Unfortunately it will not be visible where I am but it will be clearly visible over Africa, and Central Asia, visible rising over South America, western Africa, and Europe, and setting over eastern Asia. In western Asia, Australia and the Philippines – visible just before sunrise.  But certainly we can't deny that we are all affected by the energy of it, both mentally and neurologically and sometimes even spiritually.  For those of us that are not going to be able to view it, you can watch it at Astronomy Live or at  Bareket Oberservatroy Live Eclipse Broadcast. The time of the broadcast is...wait...with the time conversion is 10:02:24 Tuesday June 14, 2011 PST...hmmm, that's right now!!  I gotta go.  Enjoy!

Flash Fiction 55



Deviant Art

 Close your eyes and imagine!  What is it you see?  Does your mind conjure visions of pink elephants, cotton candy and carnival rides?  Or maybe something a little darker is more your style.   Yes, that is it.  Tell me.  Tell me of your nightmares, your fetishes, your dreams.  Perhaps we can make them come true…

Want to play?  Just write your own piece of fiction, non-fiction, poetry, etc and let the G-Man know.

Update...

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas.  The website you suggested Scott is wonderful!  It has a parents section, a kids section and a teenager section.  If you have children I highly reccommend that you check out http://www.healthykids.org/ .

It has been two weeks since I found out about my son and he seems to be doing ok.  The doctor took him off of the Prozac because of some of the side affects he was having and we are going to try a more natural method of dealing with his depression.  But it seems that just us knowing what is going on has helped him a great deal.  Let's just hope he keeps on talking and not stuffing those toxic feelings.

As for the kids at school that are bullying him, he just wants to let it be as school is almost over and they will be moving onto the high school in the fall...I reluctantly agreed.

Flash Fiction 55

First I am having difficulties with Blogger, it isn't allowing me to comment on anyone's blogs or my own.  So thank you Margaret and Scott for your words of advice and the website.  It was truly helpful and I have saved it in my favourites.

This entry is the one I wrote last week after I found out about my son.

“Yes” he replied with tears in his eyes.  He rolled up his sleeve to expose his forearm.  Crimson coloured lines scared his pre-teen flesh.  His mom looked upon them in terror, her heart aching and her mind blaming herself.  “it’s ok honey.  We will get you some help.”  Tears rolled down her cheeks blinding her…

Wanna play?  Just write your own fiction, non-fiction, poetry, etc and let the G-Man know!

A Mother's Broken Heart

This past week has been, well let's just say heartbreaking.  I actually wrote last week's 55 about it but forgot to post it so stay tuned.  It certainly seems my 55 "fiction" really isn't so much fiction as what has been occuring as of late...but believe me I wish it wasn't.

In the last week I have found out that my 12 year old has been cutting himself.  Are any of you familiar with "cutters"?  When I found out, I felt my chest colapse and when he showed me his scars I almost fainted...seriously.  My heart broke into a million peices and all I wanted to do was hold him on my lap and rock him back and forth.  He is my baby...my ray of sunshine.  He is the one that saved my life when I was disappeared during the height (or low) of my drinking.  How could I have not known?!  How could I have not helped him?!  All the guilty thoughts raced through my head.  I told him that I am not going to pretend to understand why he cuts himself but I can only guess that it is for the same reasons as I drank and that was to cover the pain of something else.  Whether I planted that idea in his head or not, he agreed that that was the reason.  You see, he is a very fashionable boy.  You know the type...styled hair, skinny jeans...a trend setter really, and he is being bullied at school because of it.  They call him gay, faggot, the usual homophobic bullshit.  What bugs me the most is that I have always taught my kids tolerance...hell they even know that I have dated women...and that they should be true to themselves, and express themselves and be who and what they want to be.  So was I wrong?  Should I have stifled my son's desire to be unique and express himself?  Should I have encouraged him to conform and be just like everyone else?
Anyway, I took him to the doctor and of course, she wanted to put him on anti-depressants.  WTF!  He is 12!!  I calmly expressed my concern and suggested a more natural approach, but reluctantly let him make the decision.  Soooo....he has been on an extremely low dose of frickn' Prozac for a week now.  I don't think he is liking the side effects and of course he hasn't experienced the benefits yet as it takes a few weeks.  I can only hope that after he meets with the psychiatrist and has been on them a while that he will try my idea.  You know, it isn't depression that is the problem, the problem is the closed minded freakn' little monsters at his school.  And where did they learn that behaviour I wonder...hmmm...from their closed minded freakn' ignorant parents!! Ok...deep breath.
Then...oh yes..there is more...the other night, I found pot in his room.  I couldn't freakn' believe it!!  He said he had only been smoking it a little while (about a month) which is when he started cutting himself more often.  Yes more often, this has apparently been going on since he started middle school in September.  I am lost.  I really don't know what to do.  I have talked to my mom, my boyfriend, my sponsor and still I don't know what to do or how to make him ok.  My heart breaks every time I think about it.  However, I am grateful that I have found out when I did...before it was too late...you know what I mean?  Also, it almost seems that he is relieved that I know.  He has been talking to me a little more each day about what is going on and how he is feeling.  So that is a very very good thing because he has really been isolating and cutting himself off from the world (no pun whatsoever intended).  I miss my little boy so much I want to cry sometimes.  He will be 13 this month and is 4" taller than I am.  He is a young man who has made some poor decisions lately, but I don't love him any less.  I still want him to be who and what he wants to be.  I want him to express himself through his fashion, music, art...whatever he feels is right.  I told him last night...just be true to yourself.
I am not sure if any of this made sense and I didn't really intend on writing about it, but here it is...my broken heart, and his, for all to see.

Flash Fiction 55

Have a super duper long weekend everyone in Canada...and to my friends south of the border next weekend is yours!!

“Tick, tick, tick”, goes the office clock, moving slowly and taunting her.  “Why does it move so slowly some days?”  Amy turned her chair to gaze out the window at the beautiful day.  She does not want to be here today…NOT ONE LITTLE BIT.  It is the first long weekend of the summer after all...  

Wanna play?  Just write your own poem, prose, etc and let the G-Man know!

Teenager-itis

I am sure you all know the symptoms of it.  You may have been a victim of it yourself at one time or are trying ever so patiently to deal with your own child's symptoms.  Yes, teenageritis. Symptoms include but are not limited to: mood swings, mouthiness, getting immense pleasure out of another's pain or discomfort (especially a sibling or parent), lack of cleanliness, laziness, and the list could go on and on.  Perhaps I should seek out a support group for parents of children suffering with teenageritis or perhaps I should just give them both a swift kick in the ass and call it a day.  At any rate, mine are driving me absolutely BATTY!!  I need a vacation.

COUPON - ING!

OMG...have you ever heard of such a thing?  They have even made a reality television show about extreme couponing and I have a friend that was talking about it the other day.  So I checked out one of the links on Facebook and next thing I knew I had a pile of coupons and 6 HOURS had gone by.  I even created a new email address specifically for signing up for coupon sites!!!  I think I have lost my freakn' mind!  Now I do know that things are little different in Canada than in the States, here you can only use one coupon per purchase.  In the states they stock pile them and people have walked out of stores with $900 worth of groceries and maybe paid $30...WHAT THE HECK!

All I can say is that I hope my addictive personlality doesn't take me down the road of this addiction...I don't have the space to store it all.  hahaha!

Flash Fiction 55

I hope everyone is up and running properly again.  My blog is still missing a post so here's hoping this one works!



Painting by
Canadian Painter Oliver Ray
http://www.oliverray.ca/index.html



Amy stood on the balcony watching the sun set over the ocean.  The warm soft breeze sent a shiver through her body.  She heard his footsteps behind her and her pulse quickened.   Slowly he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him.  Amy trembled internally, feeling his hot breath on her neck…

Wanna play?  Write your own story, poem, etc and be sure to let the G-Man know.  You will find others on his blog too...drop by, read and comment!  Everyone likes feedback.

My Mom

Today is my mom's birthday and yes, she seems to get ripped off every year in the birthday/mother's day gift department, and all she says is, "I am just glad you are here".  My mom is my best friend and I cherish her more than I can ever put into words.  I really don't know what I would have done without her over the years.  She has comforted me during my separation and divorce and other daily trials. And she let me do what I needed to do while I was in my addiction, but never abandoned me and was there to pick me up and brush me off when I finally became sick and tired of being sick and tired.  She is the one I turn to when I need a friend to talk to and when I need spiritual advice...and yes...when I need to borrow money too.  I share everything with her and am SUPER grateful to my Creator for giving me such a wonderful, compasionate, loving, caring mother.  I hear others talk about their relationships with their mother's and can't even imagine speaking about her in that way.  Maybe when I was a kid and mad at her for not letting me do something, but I think that was even few and far between.  She liked me to learn my lessons through experience, and I did.  And quite honestly, I am a better person for it.  I like to think that one day I will be half the woman that she is, and for that I will be thankful.

Thank you Mom for being who you are and for loving me no matter what.

Mother's Day 2010

Flash Fiction 55

I haven't played in a couple of weeks or even contributed to my blog.  This has been a crazy busy week, as life gets sometimes and I still struggle with balance.

So here is this Friday's submission...

The search for Lord Stanley's Cup creates chaos in the stands.  Hockey fans experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Players are praised and ridiculed in the same breath.  Pulses race and blood pressure rises as your favourite team gets closer to the ultimate prize.  Will they do it? GO CANUCKS GO!


Wanna play?  Just write your own fiction, poem, etc in 55 words and let the G-Man know!

Freebies?? Really??

Everywhere you look, someone...somewhere is giving away FREEBIES all over the internet and at tradeshows!!  I have entered, sent in my requests and never...NEVER once did I ever receive my FREE sample or prize.  So my question is...are they really giving away something for free?  hahahahahaha! Is ANYTHING ever FREE?  I tend to think that these are just a ploy to get your contact information so to later try and SELL you something. Or worse, sell your information to wonderful SPAMMERS!  Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with selling.  I am a MLM myself.  I sell and use Isagenix but if I want your contact info, I will just ask you for it.  I won't try and lure you in with a promise of FREE product.

I think that is the end of my rant for the day.

Cheers!

You make me sick!!

I am not exactly sure what to write about lately.  Perhaps my mind has gone to mush as I seem to have contracted yet another damn cold.  I tell ya, if it is going around you can be sure that I am going to catch it.  Maybe it's due to the fact that I work in a hospital with recycled germ ridden air...blech!  Yup, just another reason to find a new career.  Or it could be that my kids are disgusting and touch everything and don't wash their hands as much as they should.  I have definitely become a germaphobe in my 4 years working here.  I mean who wouldn't!!

Humble or Humiliated

So there is this women's AA retreat here in my area in June and me and my sponsee were planning on attending together.  Well my finances kind of took a downward turn and I told her a couple of weeks ago that I was no longer able to afford the cost for the weekend. $200!!

She called me today, and apparently a lady from her home group (who was also going to attend with us) had a garage sale today and raised the money so that I could go with them.  I am not exactly sure how to feel.  I am totally dumbfounded by her generosity and don't even know what to say.  How do I accept a gift like that?  I don't know if I am feeling humbled by her gift or humilated by her charity.  This is so foreign to me.  Do people really do things like this?  I mean, I hear about it all the time but never have I been on the receiving end of it except of course my parents.

My head is going around and around.  I just don't understand why she would do this.

Flash Fiction 55

“But I don’t want to choose they are all liars and do exactly the opposite of what they promise.  What if I choose the wrong one? What if they are worse than the last? What then?” She looked at the ground and closed her eyes wanting an answer and with that she marked her “X”.




Wanna play?  Write your own story, poem, etc in 55 Words.  Be sure to tell the G-Man!!

GO CANUCKS GO!!

'Nuff said...

Is Mercury Retrograde Getting you Down??

Mercury retrograde happens three or four times a year.  It is when Mercury slows down, appears to stop and move backwards (retrograde). 

Mercury rules communication so it isn't uncommon to have more than usual technical difficulties with computers and other electronics as well as just plain ol' miscommunications.  It is a good time to reflect and plan for the future, tie up loose ends, but DON'T commit to anything NEW...wouldn't want a miscommunication or misunderstanding now would ya?

Soooo...sit back, relax and reflect and definately be willing to take another look at projects once Mercury has gone direct again (April 23rd).

Let me see your bellydance...

No that isn't me, but I dream to be that good one day!!

Friday Flash 55

Kayla dropped some loose change in the old woman’s cup.  “Thank you my dear, that will get me a coffee to keep me warm”, the old woman smiled a toothless, and sincere grin.  Kayla felt a pang of sadness as she looked at the woman, bundled in tattered clothes. “Let me buy you lunch too”.

Want play?  Write your own piece of fiction, poetry or whatever in 55 words.  Be sure to let the G-Man know.

New Opportunity

The last couple of days have been one of research and excitement.  It is no surprise to those who know me that I am extremely BORED with the type of work that I do and that I am am always looking for natural health remedies and such.  Well I have found a way to combine both work and wellness and I am sooo excited!!  It may not be for everyone, but it will work for me.  I have added "Follow me on Twitter" if any one is interested in taking a look.

Today being Thursday I get to spend the evening with my lovely sponsee as I take her through the steps.  We are just finishing up Step 2 ~ Came to Believe that a Power Greater than Ourselves Could Restore us to Sanity.  Hmmmm...sanity was definitely a foreign concept in my world as I am sure in many of yours as well.  For me, sanity is the ability to be logical in my daily life.  It is when I am thinking positively and acting so.  My insanity has taken me to very dark places and still can today, but not nearly as often as it used to.  Because today, I have help.  I have my Higher Power to guide me in the right direction...ultimately I still make the final choice which road I would like to tredge and tend to, more often than not, tredge the road to happy destiny.

We are the chosen ones...

On Saturday night I went to a meeting to help celebrate a dear lady's 7 year cake.  What she does for AA in this community is uncomparable.  She has the kindest, most giving heart of almost anyone I have met and she has overwhelming empathy for anyone who is still suffering, whether they are in the program or have not quite found their way yet.  So as she was standing up at the podium sharing her experience strength and hope...just as she shared that we are the chosen ones...we are the ones that made it here to carry the message, the meeting room doors are flung open and in the doorway stands a women who is still suffering immeasurably.  She is ranting and screaming something, I didn't quite make it out as I was in utter shock.  Some in the room laughed at her, some laughed nervously and stared at her in shock, some asked if it was an April fool's joke or some kind of gag.  I knew different.  I had seen her in a few meetings, held her hand during The Serenity Prayer and had even had a conversation or two with her.  I knew it wasn't a gag, and it broke my heart...I kinda wish it had been a joke.  I felt the heaviness on my chest.  I knew she was hurting and as quick as she stormed in, she was gone.  I looked at my friend up the podium and it was clear the pain she felt for this poor suffering woman.

Yes we ARE the chosen ones!  We are the lucky ones that found our way to Alcoholics Anonymous and no longer have to suffer to that extent.  We can be HAPPY, JOYOUS & FREE and the PROMISES will come true IF WE WORK FOR THEM!

Friday Flash 55

So the idea of Flash Fiction 55 is to write a story, poem, or whatever in exactly 55 words.  No more...no less.  I used to do this quite regularly, it is a great way to get the imagination flowing and/or to create the beginnings of even longer stories.  If you want to participate, be sure to check out Mr. Knowitall's Blog and let him know you want to play!

Ok, so I don't really have a title and not sure where it came from but it kinda seems that it may be a continuing saga of sorts...or maybe not.

Mmmm, she thought as she placed a morsel of warm chocolate chip cookie into her mouth.  She reminisced of simpler times, when she was just five years old, without a care in the world and her only fear was if the boogey man was beneath her bed.  Oh to be a little girl once more…

Cancer & Alcoholism

In the four years that I have been sober, I have known 3 people that have died and at least a half dozen more that have been diagnosed.  What is going on?  Is there a correlation between them?  Is it that we did so much damage to our bodies while we were drinking that it can no longer fight off the rampaging cancer cells?  Studies show that yes they are more than likely related.

I found this article on About.com, Alcohol and Cancer. "...considerable evidence suggests a connection between heavy alcohol consumption and increased risk for cancer, with an estimated 2 to 4 percent of all cancer cases thought to be caused either directly or indirectly by alcohol."  It goes on to say, "studies show that alcohol may affect cancer development at the genetic level by affecting oncogenes at the initiation and promotion stages of cancer.  It has been suggested that acetaldehyde, a product of acohol metabolism, impairs a cell's natural ability to repair its DNA, resulting in a greater likelihood that mutations causing cancer initiation will occur.  It has recently been suggested that alcohol exposure may result in overexpression of certan oncogenes in human cells and, thereby, trigger cancer promotion."

Not a very happy subject I know, but I just received news of a lovely lady in the program who was just diagnosed with stomach cancer and yet another last week who is so riddled with it, they aren't sure where it started.  I really am not sure how to feel about all of this...did I beat it?  Did I stop drinking in time?  I realize of course that I can not live in fear of "what if I get cancer?" because if I live in that kind of fear, I might as well be drunk because Goddess knows I won't be living anyway.  So I will keep doing what I am doing and pray for those who are sick and just be thankful that I am healthy today.

Blessings,

~T

Meet my family...

Family Portrait 2010

Jami (boyfriend), Me, Jaxon (son), Robert (brother), Sabrina (sister in-law), Kayl (son)
Victor (Jami's son), Mom, Step-dad and their dog Diesel



 To say that he likes fishing would be a slight under exageration!

Jami and his 10 foot Sturgeon

I just love their goofiness...such wonderful boys!

Jaxon and Kayl hanging with their cousins

Our Family Clown...such an innocent spirit.

Victor - fishing at the mouth of the Vedder

Halloweeeeeeen!!  My favourite time of year.



Mom (doctor) and stepdad (Elvis) and some pretty
wonderful ladies that work for mom.



Here comes the bride.....

Sabrina & Rob on their special day

Annnnd.....ME!!

heehee!



These are the most important people in my life and for whom I give thanks every single day.



Satisfaction Guaranteed

So last night the boyfriend and I were being lazy on the couch after my dance class watching one of those house renovation shows… Holmes on Homes I believe it was.  The premise of the show is, he goes into houses of people that have basically been screwed by crooked contractors, and fixes it for them.  Now that is all nice and generous and all but really has nothing to do with this post.  My reason for posting this is…I love before and after results of almost anything, whether it is personal makeovers, house makeovers or the creation of something completely from scratch.  I find others creativity AMAZING.  And it got me to thinking about how satisfying it must be to go to work and look upon a completed project and say “hell ya…I did that and it is a damn fine job!” and then to see the smile on the customer’s face and their satisfaction.  I think I want that.  My job is so UNSATISFIYING and UNSTIMULATING, I cannot even begin to tell you for fear of putting you to sleep.

So my question is “what the heck am I going to do about it?”  Well I have started looking into school but will that career give me the SATISFACTION that I am looking for?  I am sure it will give me the STIMULATION as everyday will be unique to say the least, BUT...

**deep sigh** I have no clue what direction to take.  I am thinking it is time to look toward the heavens and ask the Goddess to guide me and show me the right path.  A sign?  A carrot?  Anything?  Pleeeeease???

Be who you want to be...

...NOT who you think others want you to be.

Dinner and a Movie and a Meeting and a...

I am ever so grateful for my life today, but I don't seem to recognize that as often as I should.  I am grateful for my children and for the fact that they actually came out for dinner and to a movie with Jami and I on Friday. I am grateful for Jami and that we were able to re-schedule our "just us" date for Saturday night. 

 I am grateful that my super little sponsee asked me to meet her at the Breakfast Meeting this morning and that we got to listen to some wonderful people share their experience strength and hope.  I am grateful that the sun is shining.  I am grateful for the energy treatment I received yesterday and for not waking up in pain today...it has been a LONG time.

I am grateful for the sunshine (did I say that already?) and the rain.  I am grateful for my parents and their kind loving souls.  I am grateful for ALL the love I have in my life...both giving and receiving. But I am mosting grateful for being SOBER because if I wasn't that, I wouldn't be grateful for anything. 

Blessings,

~T

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

Shhhh...don't tell anyone I am wasting time at work.  I just can't help myself!  It is Spring, the sun is shining, it's payday and it's FRIDAY! 

That makes me believe...

Have a very blessed weekend!

~A

Absolutely Remarkable

I have been spending the last couple of days catching up on the lives of most of the blogs I used to follow...well still follow.  It is kind of cool reading though someone's blog...I mean like an entire month, year...whatever, seeing in a short time a story unfold.  The problem, the pain, the solution, the growth...truly amazing creatures we are.  I especially love the posts when someone has had an epiphany or "God shot" as many have called it.  The moment when they FINALLY get it and everything is OK.

The blog world really is not to unlike the AA fellowship...we have a certain bond and camaraderie.  We are here because we want to be heard and to hear others...to share and be part of someone elses sharing.  Thank you all for being here...and to those who convinced me to return (you know who you are), an extra special thank you to you.

Blessings,

~A

Higher Learning

I am sat here tonight at my kitchen table, coffee in hand and laptop fired up trying to complete my application for school...yes that is right...I am, at the age of 38, going to go back to school.  Well at least I am going to try.  At this point it is all dependent upon financing - but isn't everything theses days?  My fear is that because I work full time and still have some student loan to pay from the last time I went back, that they may just tell me to get stuffed and laugh in my face.

What am I going to school for you ask?  My goal is to be certified with the Canadian Counselling Association and/or Canadian Addiction Counsellor Certification Federation.  Not a too lofty goal I don't think...it is certainly something I have been thinking about for a few years and I definately need a career change.  Then in light of a new health centre here...well it just seems that opportunity is presenting itself.

Blessings,

~A

Oestara

As I was leaving work late last week, I consciously noticed that it was still daylight and the air was somewhat warmer than it has been in recent weeks.  As I looked up to feel the sunshine on my face, I noticed something else that I hadn’t seen in about 12 months….THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!   Yes, the sure sign that spring is on its way!

The Spring Equinox, also known as Ostara comes from the Anglo-Saxon Goddess, Ostre.  Ostare is the Goddess of the East, Dawn, and the Spring. On this day, people celebrate the return of Spring, it is a time of birth and new life and it is when we renew our thoughts, dreams, and aspirations.

Easter, which falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox, is the Christianized version of Ostara.  It is said that the Goddess Ostre had an enchanted hare that was able to lay eggs.  He would decorate his eggs and give them to the Goddess as offerings.  But one day Ostre became very upset with the hare and banished him to the heavens, which became the constellation Lepus that lies beneath the feet of Orion the hunter.

Ostara Blessings,

~A

Four Years...One Day at A Time

This is my third attempt at writing my first entry on my new blog.  I had forgotten how difficult it can be sometimes to put your thoughts into words and then to put those words in some sort of coherent order for others to read...sheesh.

Well, let me start with telling you that I celebrated 4 years of sobriety on March 16th.  I was fortunate to share the meeting with someone from my home group who celebrated 30 years.  You know, it's not that I take pleasure in someone else's suffering but I sure do take solace in knowing that others have similar stories as mine and I am not alone.  And that someone with 30 years sobriety gets through the day the same way that I do.  It certainly was a special meeting.

~Goddess Bless!